"Fresh Air"
I’VE ALWAYS BEEN FOND OF FRESH AIR.
Janice Jones written February 2007
Last year, I left a 14 year career in television- to get some fresh air.
I am now a stay-at-home mom.
A write-at-home mom?
Professional mom?
Domestic engineer?
Bon-bon eater?
I don’t mind “good wife” either.
Why did I leave?
One January day, I admitted to myself that I no longer liked my job.
In fact, the normal stresses of being a broadcast meteorologist now seemed unbearable.
But, specifically, I could not think of what was really wrong. What needed to be fixed? Why was I unhappy?
That’s when I admitted it. I WAS unhappy. As soon as I admitted it, it got worse.
I bemoaned the weather conferences I had annually attended and considered the highlight of my year. The visiting children’s school classes, the public speaking engagements, even severe weather became dreaded events, not the “icing on my cake” that I had always considered them. It was all too much for me.
I prayed for the weather to be quiet, for no one to invite me to host their event. I wanted rest, anonymity, uneventfulness.
I began to robotically attend to my daily job of forecasting the weather, drawing maps and presenting my work on TV for 3 minutes every night- 4 times a night.
I was not having fun.
For 14 years, I had been passionate about my work. There was nothing else I was meant to do. The challenges, changes, high-energy, action, stress, deadlines, public-scrutiny….kept me going.
A few months earlier, I had suffered a miscarriage. And now, when I needed to be distracted, I was stopping to think.
I thought about how little I saw my prized-possesions, my husband and son, at the same time.
I thought about how I was tired, frustrated, grouchy or down-right mean to my son during “my shift”.
I would arrive home at 12:30am and force myself to bed by 1am. The tap-tapping of little fingers would begin just 5 hours later. I tried every stall tactic there is: pleading, yelling, sending the dog in to play, television, books, ziplocks of cereal…anything that would buy me a few more minutes of sleep. Although I badly longed for play and quality time with my cherished son, I just wasn’t feeling it at 6am.
Out of bed I’d go…down to make breakfast, which he always wanted not now, but 2 minutes ago.
“I’m hungry, I’m hungry…I don’t want that, I want this. Please eat Troupe. Please hurry Troupe. Please get dressed Troupe. Here, sit and watch TV, Troupe, while I shower.”
On a typical day, I’d race Troupe off to preschool so I could go talk to other school kids about the weather. I’d leave the house at 9 a.m., dressed, in full makeup and hair fixed to last through the 11pm newscast that night.
That day, there’d be no lunch at home, no dinner at home, no bed-time stories, no catch up time with my husband. In fact, most days, I hadn’t seen him since lunch the day before. My son, I would not see again until the 6 a.m. tapping began the next morning.
Here and there, Troupe and I would sneak in a coloring session, a round of trains, a puzzle, a Gymboree class or trip to the museum. Then I’d race home, hit the shower, ready myself for work and set off for another round of winter forecasting and live TV into the late night hours.
I felt completely over-extended and with a family life out of control. So, it felt good to try to control my husband’s “shift”. The hours I was away at work “Dad” would become mom, playmate, chef, dog-sitter, house-cleaner and all the things I’d been that morning. And he was doing all this after coming home from a full day at work beginning at 2am. Not to mention, sans the motherly instinct.
What was my response to this? I admonished dad for not playing ball with him more often, not teaching him to ride his tricycle, letting him eat cereal on the couch or disciplining him the wrong way.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I shared my feelings with my husband and a weight lifted from his shoulders. He wanted me around more too, as a wife, a friend, a mom. We wanted life to be as it had been in our “Keeping Up With The Joneses” program, except we didn’t want it squished into a 3 hour photo-shoot. Going on shoots with him had been the best quality time we’d had in months.
We talked, cried, yelled, panicked, planned and agreed. I wanted to be at home more and that meant quitting my full-time career.
It’s been 6 months since I left work.
My husband tells me nearly every day how happy he is to “have me around”.
We eat dinner together every night. We go roller skating, take the dogs on hikes and have family “Go-Fish” nights.
I’ve been reading constantly and taking Troupe on road trips. Donald gets to go for 3 hour bike rides. Troupe is taming his training wheels and has a pretty decent handicap at disc golf.
Still to this day, Troupe sometimes sneaks into my room before the dawn’s light and lies down with his blanket on the floor at the foot of my bed, wanting to be near me, but fearing to wake me up too early. That’s when I happily climb out of bed, scoop him up and pile him under the blankets with me. We cuddle, we read, we play superheros, eat cereal (on dad’s side of the bed) or just watch cartoons (we switch over to see Daddy on the news every few minutes). It’s quality time I would not give up for a job on the ‘Today Show’.
There is a small window of time for cuddling my son unabashedly, for making up funny hill-billy dances to “The Bernstain Bears” theme song, for laughing hysterically during foamy teeth-brushing. Before I know it, I’ll be tap-tapping Troupe’s arm and telling him “Hurry up Troupe, or you’ll be late for class.”
I left my soaring career in broadcast television before the window closed.
I have always been fond of fresh air.
I have no doubt that many look at the financial and career sacrifices you have made and think you are crazy. As a stay home mom myself, I know the rewards far surpass the sacrifices. Besides, a house full of testosterone needs you around full time
Janice,
You read my mind! That is exactly what I am going through right now. Logan will be 2 next week and it’s so hard to leave him in the mornings. I thought it would get easier but actually it’s getting harder every day. We’re so lucky that he’s with Grandma but in my heart I know he should be with Mom.
- Roxanne
It’s great to see the change in your priorities. Your career training and now concentration on family appears to have blossomed your creativity. I look forward to your continued tantilizing updates focusing on family, friends, fun and food
Janice,
I really enjoyed your website and catching up with you and your family. Love the tips on road trips with kids. Mine are grown but we did similar things. It is wonderful that you are taking educational trips. Our country’s history is rich and fascinating and children will learn so much from these. If you ever get to Philly, I can show you the sights there too.
Food looks yummy. Can you send me some leftovers? I’ll never make them but would love to try them.
I’ll continue to check in on you…
Sue
Janice,
Hey! Donald referred me over to your blog, and this is the first time I’ve looked around. I read this article all the way through and loved it! Made me stop and think some about my own parenting… Not that you need it, but I affirm and applaud your decision, especially considering the career and money you left on the table. Three cheers for you and Donald!
Know that you are still missed here at the station. I think of times past spent around you and Sharon and of the kindness you both showed to a lowly, novice tape editor.
Thanks for taking the time to inspire others with your thoughts here. If you ever need some birding advice, hop over to see me at the bird blog!
Dave
P.S. What’s a family “go-fish” night? Also, Donald is a real nut at work. He’s fun to chat with and I love his sense of humor here!
This was absolutely beautiful and made me cry. I am at that place right now and trying to figure out how to make it work. Very inspiring, Spee!
This made me cry. Well said, Janice!
What a wonderful thing to read. I had such a great time with you, Donald, and Troupe… I am certain you’ve made a wonderful choice, and I know you feel that way, too. You have a wonderful family and I feel honored to know you.
Okay, crying over here.
What a great post, Janice. Straight from a mommy’s heart. I’m so glad you were able to make this transition and find so much joy in it.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
I can almost “See”the similarity of my daughter’s decision to leave an editing job to spend more quality time with her children and husband with your decision.. I enjoy her further delving into family life without this job she left.. It sounds like you, too, are really absorbing the time with your son and husband, and as a grandmom now I think every day about how much I did NOT get to do with my own now-grown-daughters. So glad you have the insight and guts to have done this. You will NOT regret it!
Janice-
What a wonderful post! I think a lot of mom’s and their families can really relate to those struggles. It seems like your family has really made a lovely home from the former chaos!
Janice,
I am so glad you have found peace and some great time with your family. I actually had an older woman tell me my decision was “so 1950s” because I was a stay-at-home mom. I made the decision to stay home even though I truly loved my job in public relations, and I’ve never once regretted it. I hope you will enjoy your time sitting back eating bon-bons (ha!) as much as I have.
There are always trade-offs, but I have to agree — can’t imagine trying to juggle a full-time (employed) job and my two kids and my husband. What a treasure for you that you could recognize the need for yourself and your family — and that you had the opportunity to do what’s best for all of you.
(And congrats on the Triangle TRACKS win!)
You can replace money, but not your mommy days…